Gratitude

During our ASANA Momentum call this week the topic of gratitude took centre stage. It’s one of those peculiar things that we find it easier to express gratitude to others than express gratitude to ourselves for all that we have in our lives.

It doesn’t seem to be that we are ungrateful for what we have; it’s just that what we have goes largely unnoticed until something happens that overturns that view. We might take our car for granted for example, not really expressing our thanks as it takes us safely from place to place. However, should it fail to start, break down or fail us in some other way such as a puncture or unexpected service expense, we are quick to criticise or moan.

Likewise if I write a blog with 500 words in it but I spell just one word incorectly, it’s not the 499 words that I’ll receive any praise for, just the one I got wrong. Right now I’m guessing that you are wondering how to tell me, in the nicest possible way, how I screwed up!

Why Gratitude?

If you consider the impact of feedback from others you’ll quickly realise that it can feel unwelcome and uncomfortable. The reason is simple enough, it follows the rule above; that we feedback failure quickly but praise slowly. Of course, it’s important to know when we do something wrong but if it isn’t balanced against all the things we did right we tend to feel like the nail and not the hammer.

Now imagine that you change the focus so that the majority of what you hear is praise for all that you have done well. In this scenario we are in a strong enough position to ask “What could I have changed or done differently?” and accept the feedback. (Check out my previous blog about the Johari Window.)

And what works when others give us feedback works when we give ourselves feedback or when we look with gratitude at all that we have, be it relationships, material wealth, freedom, choice, sunshine or rain.

Start Now

From time to time you’ll hear people talk about a ‘gratitude attitude’ or keeping a gratitude journal. The latter is usually a place to reflect each day on all that we are grateful for in our lives and perhaps in that day.

For now I would simply encourage you to take a moment each day to be thankful for something in your life and try to recognise those things that perhaps you take for granted; your health, your family, your friends and the roof over your head. And take time to tell the people around you how much they mean to you and share the contribution each one makes in your life.

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